The Conservative Matra

My conservative friend, Bob, asked me what I meant when I said “I am hearing the conervative mantra.”

My response:

CONSERVATIVE MANTRA is, of course, what we liberals repeating over and over and over, except that most of them don’t even try to research it. They just regurgitate what their conservative mentors (radio show hosts and bloggers) tell them is true. In fact, most people don’t read a goddamn thing other than the sports pages. Before you jump to conclusions on that statement, remember that in “most” I include, well, MOST (obviously excluding who care to think for themselves). Even the scientists who oppose the idea will admit that the scientists who support it do not have an agenda.

What is the agenda of liberals who believe in Gore’s type of global warming? I mean, really, one would think that all the liberals in the US got together at a secret meeting and decided to fool the conservatives into believing in a false claim so they might eradicate something. I’m not sure why they would prosetylize about stopping warming.

I really have no problem about not reading newspapers. Personally, I get most of my news and opinions on the web. No surprise there. But I get a LOT of each there.How many people who call themselves “conservative” believe in the type of global warming espoused by Gore? I am sure you can count them on the fingers of one hand.

Another conservative mantra is that human beings are truly human at the moment of conception.

Another conservative mantra is that the economy is boooooming. (I totally disagree there)
Another conservative mantra is that they theselves support the troops and whenever a liberal does that he is lying. What the hell does that mean? I contend that most people (both sides) don’t really give a fuck about the troops until someone challenges them or raises their dander about the issue. If I may ask, what do you mean when you say that (based on the emails I get through you from your friends, I assume you agree)?

Another conservative mantra is that capitalism is good for people. Well, it may be good for the people who were able to rise to the top, most of whom are lucky they held onto their father’s coattails but who think they are responsible for their riches. I love it when rich people say “It’s amazing how lucky I get when I work hard.” Bullshit. We all know that daddy’s hard work provided their wealth.

Do you think that capitalism will be good for the Chinese working man?

Another conservative mantra – there are dozens of them. I’ll save them for another day when I don’t want to get depressed.

I couldn’t believe what I heard the other night on the radio. The conservative shithead (that’s a webmaster term) says, “The liberals should get no credit if we win in Iraq. The liberals should get all the credit if we fail in Iraq.” Is he eating mushrooms?

Ok. So you are absolutely, postively, certainly, without a doubt convinced that global warming has nothing to do with the industrial age.

Then we have nothing to discuss on this topic any more.

You have told me, I think, that there is nothing that can change your mind. No expert opinions will suffice except those which validate your research and, it must be said, your opinion based on past experiences and study.

That’s ok.

greg

Conservative
Liberal
Iraq
Republican

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